I was hanging out with a friend last night when she made a mean comment about a girl saying that she was too big to be wearing leggings. A little offended I told my friend that I’m a plus size girl and I wear leggings what is she trying to say about me. What she said next really hit me; she told me that it didn’t count for me because I was pretty. I was so confused with that statement because was she insulting someone based on their size or their looks? If I was walking with the same outfit as that girl and my friend was walking behind me but didn’t know it was me, the way my face looked wouldn’t matter. Would the way I looked in the outfit magically change when she saw my face because I’m pretty sure my body isn’t going to change.
I don’t even remember what the girl looked like to be honest but it got me thinking. People always comment on how “pretty” I am and now it makes me wonder if they try to bring this to their attention so that they don’t pay attention to my size. There has been so many times where I meet people and after a while of talking to them they feel the need to stop our conversation and they literally will say something along the lines of “Stephanie, did you know that you’re actually really pretty?” I think that when they say that they feel good about themselves, thinking they just complemented me when in reality they have just insulted me. When they add “actually” in the statement it takes away any possibility of it being a complement, it’s like oh wait is this big girl actually pretty?
It sucks to think that people initially judge me on my size and it sucks even more that I’m than judged on my looks. So it seems as though society judges people on their size first and if they don’t pass they get a second chance if they are attractive. I’ve seen it on TV shows and in magazines where they comment on a plus size girl and they say “well she has a pretty face”, meaning she has potential and could work if she lost weight. Even my family has told me “can you imagine how much prettier you’d be if you lost weight?” I’m not saying that it’s not important to be healthy because even I feel that I should work out to be healthier, but what I’m trying to say is that weight and looks should not be based off one another. Skinny does not equal attractive and fat does not equal unattractive.