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Stay at home husband

Recently, in-class discussion included the stay at home dad.  I am a stay at home husband currently.  I would like to share some of the commonalities with stay at home dads and relate my situation with it.

With a quick google search it becomes apparent that stay at home dads are on the rise.  There are a few trends that are recognizable and follow along with what we talked about in class.  Dad’s are tired of all the sympathy.  For most of them it is a choice made, and agreed upon, by both partners in the relationship.  For my current relationship, it is actually a bit of a strain.  My wife and I agreed that she would work while I finish school up, with the thought that once we have kids she will be able to take some time off.  It has been two years now and she is starting to get burnt out.  On the same token I am ready to get to work and start a family.  So we are at a crossroad and have to constantly remind each other that we are on the verge of attaining some of things we have been working very hard for.

Along with sympathy, is what friends and family say to the dad.  There is a constant stream of job recommendations and how can you let her work so hard.  Most people don’t see the dad as it being his choice.  They don’t even bother to take the time to find out a situation, just automatically assume he is wanting to fulfill the traditional provider role.  I can relate to this.  My wife in under barrage whenever she visits her parents.  “Why doesn’t he get a job?”  “Hey I heard such and such was hiring, he should work while he is in school.”  No matter how many times we tell them I have military income and am working part-time for a security company, all they can see is that she is working and I am not.

I enjoy my time at home right now.  I like keeping a clean house, taking care of our dogs and seeing my wife able to relax without worry of household chores.

1 Comment

  1. Stephanie Jones says:

    I completely agree with you when you say people always jump to conclusions without even finding out what the situation is. Each couple decides what works best for them, and then if it goes against traditional roles, everyone assumes that the stay-at-home husband/dad is just lazy or got laid off or it is otherwise not his choice. In some cases, he did get laid off, but in most instances, that’s not the case. Most of the time, it is his choice, and I think people should learn to be more accepting of such choices.

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