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Does it Really Matter?

I literally just got into a heated argument with my father regarding the role women play in society. He has an issue with the fact that my boyfriend took a year off of school and it brought on the discussion of marrying someone that is equally educated. My sister joined in on the discussion, she is majoring in engineering and asked him why she had to find someone that made as much as her or more. He told her that it is the man’s job to support a family but it would be okay if he made the same as long as he had an education. Apparently hard working men are no good without an education. My sister than said why can’t my husband be a stay at home father if I have a good job and can support us? To that my father replied that he would tell her future husband “Are you stupid, you can’t support your family and are letting your wife do it?” Does it really matter who is the bread winner?

We have never really had this conversation with our father before and I guess since we are getting closer to that age where we might get married, he decided to let us know how he really feels. It is upsetting that my own father doesn’t believe in the ability of his daughters being self-supporting. I told him that I was going to move in with my boyfriend and he asked me if my boyfriend would be able to support the both of us. Why do I have to go from my parents’ house where they help me to having a man support me? The whole purpose of moving out is to be independent not to rely on someone else. I believe that women can do EVERYTHING that men can do and that it is more important for a woman to be able to support herself without the help of a man. I’m not saying that it’s not something to look forward to, but he should be happy that his daughters can do it on their own.


  1. abergesk says:

    I completely agree with you. I feel like if my significant other is making more than me, that means she has worked hard for that and deserves it. I also have a bias, I was raised by my wonderful single mother who worked extremely hard to get where she is and provide so much for my sister and I. Also, the more she makes, the more money we have, right?

  2. maelsaye says:

    I don’t blame your father, that’s the old way of thinking. My parents have the same views. That generation has passed and in this generation, in the year 2013, women are perfectly capable of sustaining themselves.

  3. farteaga2013 says:

    It is difficult for our parents who think a certain way to think differently unless we prove them wrong. the only thing you can do is to show your father via your actions. A man is still a man regardless if he can support his wife/children or be a stay at home dad who helps raise his children. Eventually, your father will realize that real men respect women and are capable of more than just being providers/bread winners.

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