In a conversation with my friend the other day we spoke about daily encounters with the women at jobs & she was very surprised that we both had the same type of people.
I had a boss who I still admire to this day. She was a mentor and I was in awe of her “don’t take any mess” attitude. Usually it was something I witnessed from the many male executives at my job so I loved that she was able to “hang with the boys”, because our employer is male dominated like many others. Her attitude was also something that people weren’t used to in a female, so she was known as –the bitch who is hard to work with-rather than a strong woman who demanded perfection. She was also a single woman; no spouse, no significant other, no children. She was dedicated to her job. Many people saw this as the reason for the way she was. Many people would say “oh she doesn’t have anyone to go home to so that’s why she’s so upset all the time”, “she doesn’t have kids to pick up from school, that’s why she’s here all the time”, or and my favorite “She needs some sex, that’s why she’s so uptight”.
I got to know her personally, I didn’t let her stern work persona intimidate me or scare me from interacting with her. She is a beautiful person. She loved her job and loved our team. She knew that because we were a new department people in other areas would try to push work off on us which is why she had to be so tough.
My friend said she was approached by her boss. She was asked to “tone down her tough attitude”. She was very upset because she felt that if she wasn’t a female she would have never been approached. People try to run over her which is why she was so firm. When she speaks out against the mediocre work that is performed by her colleagues and attempts to make them accountable, she is reprimanded for her strong delivery. “Be more soft, more compassionate” she was told. Just because females are associated with being nurturing and caring doesn’t mean we can’t be tough and demanding. As long as the delivery is respectful I don’t really see what the problem is.
When a man is loud or demanding he’s considered a professional, who gets the job done, but when a woman is the one giving the orders or refusing to accept anything less than perfect, she’s a bitch who is fired or demoted. She’s sent to workshops that are supposed to help her get along with others.
I don’t think anyone has gotten to the top without being aggressive and persistent and women shouldn’t be expected to be any different.