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Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?


Why do women stay in abusive relationships? It might be easy to say, “Just leave. There is the police, you have friends and family to protect you.” But to women in that position, it is not so easy. You may be able to call the police and get a restraining order or file domestic abuse charges but what is the real punishment for men who abuse and rape their victims? Most likely they have a screwed up mentality either way and won’t abide by the laws. Most likely, they have problems themselves that do not allow them to see the mistakes in their actions and blame it on the girl for doing this to herself. What do we do for women like this? If the man goes to jail, he will get out and might track her down for more abuse. Or if he really is a psycho and wants to get revenge, will get someone from the outside to hurt her or her family. What is a girl suppose to do then? The book and many articles suggest that women in this position may have no place to go or low self-esteem. But I have seen many cases where the women come from good families and have high self esteem and are independent yet still are abused verbally, mentally, and physically by their partners. Why would these women stay in abusive relationships. I have a theory.

I think these women feel like they have no other choice. Relating this post to the “Betrayed by an Angel” reading, I feel like many kind-hearted women fall for the wrong man and constantly think that they can change, that this isn’t the man I fell in love with. Unfortunately, this often is not the case. Ernest Hemmingway says, “The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes, destroyed.” These angelic qualities is what I think puts independent and confident women in the position to be abused. I hope someone out there with authority actually recognizes the flaws with the law system that keeps these women from achieving full potential in life and does something about it. This would definitely decrease suicidal thoughts in women or the ideas of killing the abuser himself. What are your thoughts?

1 Comment

  1. falmuhan says:

    I think some women remain in an abusive relationship because they fear that they will be blamed or wont be believed. women might not know that there is help available or they do, but fear the abuser, they might fear losing their children. Or, maybe they just have nowhere to go….. I think it’s FEARS that keep a woman in an abusive relationship.

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