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Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

I once read some women look for authoritative father type figures in their partners. This is due to the lack of parental guidance and/or love when they were young. This may be true, but I don’t think anyone is looking for an abusive, violent person to substitute for what they lacked as a father figure. Women turn over their personal power to this person and get trapped because they are busy focusing on the immediate danger of violence to themselves or maybe their children. They may find that the energy it takes planning a strategy of escape to be overwhelming.

Men and women who become aggressive when they can’t get their way or for no apparent reason have outburst of uncontrolled anger never developed social skills that allowed them to be reasonable, get along with others or compromise for a win-win solution. Studies have shown that some people have a chemical and mental imbalance and should be on medication, in the hospital or in prison.

I also read, Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned in Kindergarten. Isn’t it funny how a solid foundation in the basic social skills that help us control our temper and behavior; keep our hands to ourselves, wait our turn, and respecting others can take us through our childhood, our teen years, our adult years and all the way to our 70s and 80s without harming others!!!!!!


  1. trburt2013 says:

    Some women may stay in an abusive relationship for different reasons. I can recall when I was growing up that mothers and other family members would often step in to stop the violence but a few days later the woman would return to the situation. It is a sad thing that women would go to the law for help and domestic violence would not get much attention until women begun to kill their partners or husbands. I was amused to know that women were seen as property to a man that she do not even have an identity as being a person.

  2. […] recently read the blog post of one of my classmates which was titled Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?. It inspired me to write of a woman who asked herself the same question. What made this question a […]

  3. jasonjameson says:

    Abusive relationships are a difficult subject. It is true that people often “get trapped” in them. I have never been in one myself however very close family members have. I agree,” I don’t think anyone is looking for an abusive, violent person to substitute for what they lacked as a father figure.” I can only relate staying in an abusive relationship to some type of addiction. I am not suggest abusive relationship are an addictions because I am not qualified to make the claim but that is the only way I can relate it since I am not in one myself.

    Abusive relationships create self-fulfilling cycles. They likely begin with some type of pleasure, like any addiction but over time there become more pain than pleasure. At some point there becomes dependency and acceptable with the treatment. In addition, there are often other people involve like children. All of the factors combine to create great fear of leaving the abusive relationship.

    Society needs to more deeply explore abusive relationship and take away the stigma that is often applied to the victim. Society needs to stop blaming the victim and focus more on the perpetrators. The police especially need to be more aware of abusive relationships.

    It will take time, but we can slowly break the cycle of abusive relationships.

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