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Marriage is it Good for Us?

I guess it depends on who you ask.
I’m not here to debate whether marriage is between a man & a women, 2 men, or 2 females. My view on the institution of marriage stems from my upbringing and what I have been exposed to and that is the union between a woman and a man. This exposure also begins to form the expectations and opinions of what one may think marriage is.

My  role models (great grand parents, grand parents, and parents) maintained unions well over 20 years. It was only natural (to me) that when I married, I entered into my union with the assumption that marriages lasted a lifetime. Myself & about 4 of my friends all got married to our significant other within 3 years of each other & a few of us in the same year.

I’m the only one who is still married.

I don’t judge my friends or anyone else who has decided to end their marriages. Marriage is a job. It’s tough. I think that some people get so caught up in the planning of the WEDDING; the dress, the old, the new, the borrowed & blue that the meaning/understanding of marriage is either forgotten or simply ignored. People forget that the guests go home, & once the lights dim on the last dance, & after the last glass of wine is poured; you are there with each other to embark on a new journey together; for better or worse, for sicker or poorer, til death us do part. The wedding is simply a ceremony that lasts a few hours; marriage is the union that can last forever.

Marriage is a 2nd job. It requires dedication, attention, sacrifice, &  compromise. Gone are the days of “I” and from the “I Do”, it’s “WE”.The days aren’t always good. Some say the first 5 years are hard… Try the first 7. It’s a learning experience. Not only are you finding out things about your spouse (especially if you’ve never lived together), you are also learning more and more about yourself.

When I discussed marriage with various friends, I would hear how they were exposed to fighting, arguing, & bickering. I take pride in saying I could only recall my parents arguing when I was about 4 years old-they weren’t married then.  When they did get married, I never witnessed & have yet to witness a disagreement, argument, or altercation between my parents. I’m not saying that the hard days weren’t there, whatever did occur was never in front of my siblings and I. Maybe this is a good thing or maybe it’s a bad thing.  I think it tainted my view of marriage, not necessarily in a bad way, because I can understand why my parents closed the doors on their disagreements. I just expected this blissful experience when I got married. I expected all sun and no rain. I learned very soon that this wasn’t the case.

Marriage for ME is good. It’s helped me to be a better person. I’ve learned so much in the 9 years I have been joined with my husband. I love sharing my life; the good the bad, the ups and downs. I just hope I can be a great role model for my children some day.


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