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Virgin or not?

The main question is “what defines a virgin, and who made up that definition?” When is a female said to be a virgin, when her hymen breaks? A percentage of women are born with no hymen  and some hymens never break. What about women who get raped? Are they considered ” damaged goods” as well? And who ascribed the terms that demean women who perform sexual activities? Who said its a stigma or the start of womanhood? Why men are “studs” and cool when they sleep around, and then women are considered “whores”?
Jessica Valenti in her article ” Cult of Virginity” discusses the “ethics of passivity” that define subjects by what they do not do.  Its pointed that being pure or virgin is the top best thing a woman could reach and give to her husband. Similar to how having babies and being a perfect home maker is also mostly divined. Who set these rules? Men and society. Who emphasized these standards? Females. She mentions in her article a club called ” Students of Virginity”, and one commented how shocked she was that this matter is special enough to form a club for it. Of course, this club would be very appreciated and praised.  Another factor that gives value to being a virgin is the beauty queen. A beauty queen should also be pure and well behaved. Miss USA’s crown was almost snatched from her when pictures of her dancing, drinking, and clubbing were publicized. What kind of female does that? Umm, any normal american female. Moreover  who saved her from that crises? A man. Donald Trump granted her forgiveness for the shameful things she has done, so she got to keep her crown.
Much of this changing a little bit. We see a lot of pop singers deviated from the innocent girl roles they were in as they mature. For example, former Disney star, Miley cyrus. She is far from what she was grown up to ,and her parents support her. She has done nothing illegal, and she is not hurting anyone, she is just expressing herself. She got criticized a lot from everyone around the world. Kids, teens, parents, and society. Why? Because she was innocent Hanna Mona-ta  who abides by the rules, and like any perfect teenager should be; breaks the rules but always apologizes and doesn’t go back to her dad. When she broke out of that shell, and grew old enough to decide what she wants, people judged. It is what society does, it judges.

“Shaming young women for being sexual is nothing new”, Valenti was down right on that. What women can do about it,is break out of it, because women tend to judge other women who are sexually active well.  I am not saying all girls should go and lose their virginity at 13. I am saying we should raise awareness about it, but not make it seem as disease that one day will put us to Hell.


1 Comment

  1. lkkeilma says:

    Great post. I especially like the part about Miley Cyrus. The minute she let the Hannah Montana image go and let people see MILEY, everyone freaked out. She likes being provocative and “edgy” and everyone assumes it means she is behaving immorally or something. (Even if she were, so what…)
    Meanwhile, Taylor Swift has been put on a pedestal and commended as being a good role model. She wears sweet dresses. She is polite and mild mannered… People see her as the “good girl” and Miley as a “bad girl.” The weird thing is that Taylor Swift is the one who has dated almost every young man in Hollywood. It seems more likely that Taylor is living the life that people assume the scantily clad Miley Cyrus lives.
    Why does our society seem to place so much emphasis on APPEARING “pure”?

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