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The Housewife’s Moment of Truth

It’s not very often recognized by the husband that his wife does a lot more than he gives her credit for. Most husbands maintain a certain mentality when it comes to this subject. They feel as though it is automatically the ‘wife’s’ duties anyway to keep the house clean, cook dinner, and take care of the household financially. They don’t realize how much effort goes into maintaining the household. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and energy to wake up on a daily basis only to clean up after other people and it constantly go unappreciated.  I’m not trying to discredit the husbands for going out to work every day to provide shelter, food and whichever else is a necessity for the family because it too takes effort as well. However, he should realize that he and his wife are a team as they both have an important role in taking care of the family together. It’s ok to show his appreciation for her every once in a while.

When a husband doesn’t have a similar outlook on this situation it is natural for a wife to eventually get fed up with her inconsiderate husband. Jane O’ Reily referred to it as being the “click,” in her article present in “Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions,” by Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee. Women often grow tired of being unappreciated and taken for granted. Most men couldn’t handle the daily tasks a housewife does around the house for a week if it was mandatory in her absence. They would be all over the place and not to mention become a little aggravated with being stuck in the house everyday as well. When you’re a house wife, nothing is about you. Everything is about her children and her husband. Bottom line, these things have to get done around the house and with no appreciation a women is bound to snap at some point. Although most housewives enjoy taking care of their families it’s still hard work.


3 Comments

  1. alemara123 says:

    Your post applies to me. Personally, I am a housewife, a mother, and a student. I do all the housework such as cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. I’m raising four kids and you can imagine how patient one should be to tolerate four kids and their needs. Finally, I am a student at University of Michigan and you know how much work we have to do here at University of Michigan. All these busy tasks are always on my mind. My husband works from the morning until the afternoon with calm mind. what that means is he doesn’t care about the kids or the housework. He comes back from work and he sees everything well prepared. He wants to be appreciated because he is always at work and, for me, it doesn’t really matter. some men don’t realize that the wife’s role is much more important than the husband’s role.

  2. lekwatson says:

    You are so on point with your observation of feeling taken for granted. No one wants to feel as if the things they do are being ignored or have very little value. If the husband went to work everyday and did his best at the tasked assigned he would feel that some form of recognition was due. The same is true with being a housewife. I feel that there is no greater role in life than being a mother and making sure that those you love our prepare for what’s on the other side of that door, but women have a greater responsibility to themselves to assure that they are fortified with whatever it takes to give themselves value, self-esteem and joy so that they can feel good about caring for others. Otherwise it’s a life of regret and always looking at your partner as if they owe you something because they are not giving you what you think you need to make yourself feel whole and appreciated. Perhaps based on their life experiences they don’t know how to show appreciation for work in partnership their significant other. It then becomes the wife’s responsibility to lovingly show them what you need.

  3. jtfick says:

    I find this topic very interesting, mostly because I can’t decide which side I’m for. For instance, my mother is a stay at home mom and my father is a carpenter. I feel that when a woman chooses to be a stay at home mom, which my mother did, it is socially accepted by society that she would then be responsible for the cleaning of the household, along with cooking and other necessities. My father leaves for work every morning 5am and doesn’t get home until close to 5pm. To most people, that is considered quite a long work day and it could easily be understood why he might want to just relax when he gets home. In an instance like this, I don’t find it reasonable for a stay at home mom to ask for basic help around the house from the man after a long days work. The woman would be unable to assist the man in his work, so I don’t see it being fair for the woman to ask for assistance from the man when he gets home, unless it is something that involves more strength to do or more than one person to move. However, if both the man and woman work, I have a different perspective. When both people leave and return from work at relatively the same time, I think it would be reasonable for tasks to be equally split up, such as cleaning, laundry, etc.

    To address the appreciation factor, I think it would depend on the situation. When there is a situation where a man works all day and the woman chooses to be a stay at home mom, it’s not that the hard work goes unappreciated. I think the hard work is more of an expectation due to the choice of staying home, similar to how the woman expects the man to be performing hard work at his job to provide for the family. In a situation where both people work however would be different. If the woman still does all the cleaning when they both work equal hours, I feel then a lot of the work would go unappreciated, unless there are efforts to help out or offerings to do it all while the other takes the time off.

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